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Shidduch Story – Yitz Grossman

Found by Yitz Grossman.

A person who lived in Yerusholayim had a daughter who reached marriageable age. He went to Bnei Brak to Yeshivas Ponovizh and met with the Rosh Hayeshiva HRH”G Rabbi Shmuel Rozovski. A certain student on the yeshiva was mentioned to him as a possible match and he asked the Rosh Hayeshiva numerous questions about him, all in the realm of learning prowess, diligence, and his seriousness about davening. He received a glowing report on all fronts and seemed quite pleased and was ready to thank the Rosh Hayeshiva and leave. 

The Rosh Hayeshiva said that he would likewise want to ask a few questions. He asked why the petitioner did not ask questions like: Is the boy neat? Does he practice good hygiene? Does he keep his bed and objects in the dorm room neat? Does he hurry to the dining room and grab a large portion for himself, knowing that the portions for those who come later will become smaller and smaller? Does he ever enter the food preparation rooms and thank the cooks? If the food does not please him does he eat it anyway, or does he go to a local restaurant or fast-food place instead? When the pitcher of water on the table is empty does he take it and fill it up for the whole table? Etc., etc. 

Since you are looking for a husband for your daughter, do you think a boy who is a good learner and is diligent is good marriage material if after his wife slaves to prepare him food and when sometimes it does not please him he leaves it over, or if he is unpleasant to stand near because of sloppy hygiene, will his wife be satisfied by hearing that he learned well today? (Rabbi M.M. Schulzinger) 

Ch. 24, v. 54: “Va’yochlu va’yishtu hu v’ho’anoshim asher imo” – And they ate and they drank he and the people who were with him – What did they eat and drink? “Asher imo,” only the food that he had with him. They did not trust the kashrus of this home. (Imrei Kohein) 

Found by Yitz Grossman

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